spacebaloney | » in space, everybody can hear you scream

» in space, everybody can hear you scream

You've reached Lance, the Paladin of the Blue Lion. It breaks my heart to tell you that I'm unavailable to take your call right now, but if you leave me a message, I'll get right back to you.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

sure
have at it, bro

[Have a little drama, Lance, wow.]

I was wondering if I might pry into your knowledge of the stars.

[Drama? You want drama? Well, you asked for it.]

ABSOLUTELY!

you've come to the right place
to the pro 👨🏽‍🚀
the one man who traveled from one quadrant to the other 🚀🌙☀
who touched the 💫stars💫 and the 👽people👽 who live amongst them

what do you want to know?

[How's that for drama?]

Ah... such witty imagery! I am utterly dying to know whether or not you have expertise required to carry an inquiring person (myself) to the local moon?

yeah, i could
if we had a viable ship
i was a pilot after all

Wonderful! Where can we find one?

not here.
i guess if we had the parts and fuel and a whole lot of time hunk and pidge could probably build one
but we don't so...
sorry? 🤷🏽‍♂️

Is there no way to locate these parts...?

don't think so
it's not like we can just hop on pokezon and buy them
for starters, they're usually like a skillion dollars

I have money.

[Sorry, Lance, this is. Kind of a thing right now.]

Surely we can amass enough to make some sort of start.

i'm talking about way more money anybody here has, dude
the kind of money where you have to sell your ass on a pleasure planet for DECA-PHOBES

[Oh my god, Lance, please.]

You sell your body for spare parts!???

no way
all this don't come cheap
lance mcclain needs to be wined and dined and romanced
and not for any spaceship parts either

Then... what are you talking about? Selling your "ass"?

i'm talking about hooking, bro
giving up the good good for money! dinero! moola!

Hook... ing?

wait...
you have no idea what prostitution is?

what are they teaching you ai kids nowadays? 🤨

Of course I do! I am a detective after all

... Wait. You're suggesting we engage in prostitution for the necessary parts!?

IM NOT SUGGESTING ANYTHING I WAS JUST SAYING THAT TO AFFORD THE PARTS WE WOULD HAVE TO MAKE THE KIND OF MONEY A HOOKER DOES WTAF MARU IM NOT EVEN 19 YET

Edited 2019-06-28 06:08 (UTC)

I HAD ASSUMED YOU WERE IMPLYING WE ATTEMPT IT! HOW ELSE AM I GETTING TO THE MOON? IF YOU HAVE ANOTHER IDEA I AM OPEN TO SUGGESTION!

YOU CANT
WE CANT GET TO THE MOON BECAUSE WE DONT HAVE A SHIP
WE DONT HAVE A SHIP BECAUSE WE DONT HAVE THE PARTS
WE DONT HAVE THE PARTS BECAUSE WE DONT HAVE THE MONEY
WHY DO YOU WANT TO GO TO THE MOON SO BADLY ANYWAY
THERES NOTHING THERE
ALL THE GOOD STUFF IS ON THE OTHER PLANETS

I NEED TO GET THERE I NEED TO GET THERE BECAUSE I SAID THAT I WOULD I KEEP MY WORD ARCEUS IS THERE AND I MUST HAVE WORDS WITH IT

W
T
A
F

wtf are you talking about
arceus isn't on the fucking moon

Yes, it is! I was told by someone who'd seen it there herself.

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