spacebaloney | » in space, everybody can hear you scream

» in space, everybody can hear you scream

You've reached Lance, the Paladin of the Blue Lion. It breaks my heart to tell you that I'm unavailable to take your call right now, but if you leave me a message, I'll get right back to you.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I have money.

[Sorry, Lance, this is. Kind of a thing right now.]

Surely we can amass enough to make some sort of start.

i'm talking about way more money anybody here has, dude
the kind of money where you have to sell your ass on a pleasure planet for DECA-PHOBES

[Oh my god, Lance, please.]

You sell your body for spare parts!???

no way
all this don't come cheap
lance mcclain needs to be wined and dined and romanced
and not for any spaceship parts either

Then... what are you talking about? Selling your "ass"?

i'm talking about hooking, bro
giving up the good good for money! dinero! moola!

Hook... ing?

wait...
you have no idea what prostitution is?

what are they teaching you ai kids nowadays? 🤨

Of course I do! I am a detective after all

... Wait. You're suggesting we engage in prostitution for the necessary parts!?

IM NOT SUGGESTING ANYTHING I WAS JUST SAYING THAT TO AFFORD THE PARTS WE WOULD HAVE TO MAKE THE KIND OF MONEY A HOOKER DOES WTAF MARU IM NOT EVEN 19 YET

Edited 2019-06-28 06:08 (UTC)

I HAD ASSUMED YOU WERE IMPLYING WE ATTEMPT IT! HOW ELSE AM I GETTING TO THE MOON? IF YOU HAVE ANOTHER IDEA I AM OPEN TO SUGGESTION!

YOU CANT
WE CANT GET TO THE MOON BECAUSE WE DONT HAVE A SHIP
WE DONT HAVE A SHIP BECAUSE WE DONT HAVE THE PARTS
WE DONT HAVE THE PARTS BECAUSE WE DONT HAVE THE MONEY
WHY DO YOU WANT TO GO TO THE MOON SO BADLY ANYWAY
THERES NOTHING THERE
ALL THE GOOD STUFF IS ON THE OTHER PLANETS

I NEED TO GET THERE I NEED TO GET THERE BECAUSE I SAID THAT I WOULD I KEEP MY WORD ARCEUS IS THERE AND I MUST HAVE WORDS WITH IT

W
T
A
F

wtf are you talking about
arceus isn't on the fucking moon

Yes, it is! I was told by someone who'd seen it there herself.

okay well i don't know what they're smoking but they're wrong
there's nothing on the moon but some craters and rocks
don't believe me if you want but i'm the one who drove by it so whatever bro

They told me it was there! I have no other option for finding it! That creature is why we're here. And why some of us leave.

yo...
i'm sorry but there's really nothing up there
at least last time i checked
who told you this?

[Because if someone is telling Maru stuff that could be true, Lance will want to pick at the info course himself. And if it's just bullshit, bullshit about why people come and go, then he wants to make sure this person stops fucking with his friend's emotions.]

She seemed so knowledgeable...

[This can't be true. He'd been so hopeful, too. Just to get an answer... There's a lengthy pause before he sends the conversation along.]

she was...

[...fucking with you is what Lance wants to type but doesn't for some reason.]

there's no such thing as a llama god, maru
she's making shit up
if there was a pokemon god, don't you think a whole bunch of us would be yelling up at the sky at him?

How do you know? Someone has to know if it's truly there. Someone has to answer for taking that girl back home again.

someone would have said something if they knew
people talk
people can't keep their mouth shut around here when they know things

i get it
i'm mad people just go and come and no one knows why
i'm tired of my friends leaving too
and i would help you if i could
but i'm also not gonna lie to you
if there's someone in control over these things they ain't on the moon

[The silence is probably telling, considering how both of them like to run their mouths. He said he would try. He said he would... he'd been so inspired. Like there was a purpose again.]

[Instead of him grasping at the shiny new thing for attention.]

So I see. How truly frustrating. My apologies for disturbing you.

[No. Lance can't leave things like this. Not for Maru, someone who took his sad pathetic ass in when he ran away from home and never asked for anything in return.]

hey dude
i don't need an apology

if you really want to go to the moon, just to see it, i'll help you
i can't promise arceus will ever show up there the same time we're there
but
maybe
i'll see about if we can rig something up

[That's a big promise, Lance. Once you probably won't be able to keep.]

» in space, everybody can hear you scream

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