ʟᴀɴᴄᴇ ᴍᴄᴄʟᴀɪɴ (
spacebaloney) wrote2018-06-26 02:32 am
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» in space, everybody can hear you scream

You've reached Lance, the Paladin of the Blue Lion. It breaks my heart to tell you that I'm unavailable to take your call right now, but if you leave me a message, I'll get right back to you.
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that's weird
he seemed really into learning about my best pickup lines
[That's because he was talking to his hero, Lance. You could have been reciting the alphabet and Blue would have thought that was the best thing he's ever heard.]
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He worships the ground you walk on. You're his hero. Of course he wants to learn from you.
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i gave him some really good ones and now they're going to waste!
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Maybe he's just waiting for the right Pokemon.
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i heard they'd make eggs with anything
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And that's the reason there are... so many voltorbs around here.
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[Lance. Lance, please.]
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"Dittho".
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no pokemon of mine will go gallivanting with one of those without adult supervisison
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none of my pokemon are ever leaving their balls unless i'm around
hell if any of them are gonna get some before i do
[LANCE, PLEASE. NOT IN FRONT OF SHIRO.]
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Is so much
Too much information
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i thought we were friends
it's not like i don't know about how you bone matt
[Oh dear. He used that word again.]
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we're not having this discussion
just
no
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are you guys practicing safe sex?
do you guys have enough lube on hand?
do you need us to pick up a barrel or two for you?
i know the garrison gave us classes but real life is way different
[As if he would even know.]
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[Shiro has literally never taken the safe path in his life.]
[Trolling really is easier, Lance.]
Why do you ask?
Worried there's going to be a little black paladin nerd running around one of these days?
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And Lance can go toe to toe with the best trolls.]
totally
i already did diaper duty with my nephew and niece
hell if i'm doing it for you two fools
[He's pretty sure the neither of you have the right parts to make a nerd kidlet anyway.]
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Too bad.
Here I was, going to use it as a bonding exercise for you guys.
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Plus, you know, Lance missed the times when they used to pal around like this. It feels like it's been forever instead of a couple of months.]
oh hell no
i'd rather let allura flip me a million times before i'm taking on your kid's poop bomb
make pidge do it
she's the actual aunt here
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You two rotate.
Hunk babysits
Keith doesn't get involved
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if we all gotta do it as some bonding, keith can't get off scot free
you can't play favorites, shiro
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I just
have some reservations about him teaching my hypothetical kid the best way to make a knife
let her learn that on her own
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Is it really.
I'd rather even a hypothetical kid of mine doesn't learn how to do that
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definitely
besides keith could probably teach her how to kick ass too
no bullies in this town for her
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