» in space, everybody can hear you scream

[spacebaloney]

You've reached Lance, the Paladin of the Blue Lion. It breaks my heart to tell you that I'm unavailable to take your call right now, but if you leave me a message, I'll get right back to you.

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[shiro2hero]

[Shockingly, the words on the other end of the line are a murmur dangerously close to a curse. Briefly. Hard to hear over the sound of Shiro Shirogane putting his foot in his mouth.]

I - I'm sorry. I knew that. [And yet...] Really.

[And there's Lance yet again, being a braver, stronger person in this arena than Shiro. Maybe he should hand over the reins to him.]

[You won't really is harsh, but it's also really true. He won't. He said as much to Grant, didn't he? He - ]

I just. I can't. I think about it, I think about trying and getting "out there" and I ... fold. I can't.

[If Lance is being brutally honest, then... well. He may as well repay the favor.]

[spacebaloney]

[And yet, maybe Shiro forgot. It's been so long since Hunk left that Lance wants to say he can't blame Shiro. But maybe it's because Shiro has been deep in the dark place that he's oblivious to everything else while steadying denying everything else is happening.]

You can't? Or you won't? There's a big difference between the two.

[And Lance wants to know which one it is here before he goes on.]

[shiro2hero]

[He should be blamed. He should be held accountable. Why shouldn't he be?]

[Just like he wants to say "won't". Because won't means stubborn. It means choosing, being in some kind of denial. It means a conscious decision to give up. Not something out of his control, some new, huge wall he has no idea how to climb.]

I can't. All right? [Is what snaps out of his throat instead. All while his brain is screaming at him to shut up. To stop putting this on Lance's shoulders, who absolutely doesn't need his crap.] I can't. I tried up there! All I could think about was getting out again! Leaving!

[At least it's honest. Admitting it. It sounds like you're giving up - when he's never given up on anything in his life.]

I can't.