[He hears the words Shiro's saying, but his stupid little pea brain is twisting and turning them into a meaning that's clearly the opposite.
Don't give up. Not on any of us.
No, Lance's biggest fear is that they'll give up on him. And that's what his mind is telling him: that Shiro thinks Lance the problem here, the one who has control in this situation of whether or not he believes in people. He does believe in them. He loves these guys like family. Would take them in any form they came. Lance is just utterly afraid that the feeling isn't mutual. That they just deal with his presence because they need someone to pilot the Blue Lion. That maybe the perks of bringing home free coffee and leftover pastries is good enough to deal with how annoying he can be. His mind will always keep that constant reminder of once they find someone better, cooler, and definitely a better soldier for the war that they won't need him anymore.
And if there's anything Lance craves is the feeling of being needed. To be irreplaceable rather than the replacement. Shiro needs Matt. Matt needs Pidge. Pidge needs Matt. Keith needs Shiro. No one needs the dumb kid from Cuba. Not anymore.]
It's not that. [He doesn't want to leave things like this with Shiro. Shiro deserves better. He deserves the truth and to not walk out of this room thinking Lance has any say in how people perceive him. This time when he pulls the covers back, he sits up, yet his eyes fall on his hands in his lap and not on Shiro or Blue. The classic look of being embarrassed.] Maybe I don't belong here. I love you guys, but like I said... you all got each other, things that are important to you. More important to you.
[There. He's said it. Back home Lance could say at least they had Voltron. Here... they have at least what? He can't think of anything for him.]
no subject
Don't give up. Not on any of us.
No, Lance's biggest fear is that they'll give up on him. And that's what his mind is telling him: that Shiro thinks Lance the problem here, the one who has control in this situation of whether or not he believes in people. He does believe in them. He loves these guys like family. Would take them in any form they came. Lance is just utterly afraid that the feeling isn't mutual. That they just deal with his presence because they need someone to pilot the Blue Lion. That maybe the perks of bringing home free coffee and leftover pastries is good enough to deal with how annoying he can be. His mind will always keep that constant reminder of once they find someone better, cooler, and definitely a better soldier for the war that they won't need him anymore.
And if there's anything Lance craves is the feeling of being needed. To be irreplaceable rather than the replacement. Shiro needs Matt. Matt needs Pidge. Pidge needs Matt. Keith needs Shiro. No one needs the dumb kid from Cuba. Not anymore.]
It's not that. [He doesn't want to leave things like this with Shiro. Shiro deserves better. He deserves the truth and to not walk out of this room thinking Lance has any say in how people perceive him. This time when he pulls the covers back, he sits up, yet his eyes fall on his hands in his lap and not on Shiro or Blue. The classic look of being embarrassed.] Maybe I don't belong here. I love you guys, but like I said... you all got each other, things that are important to you. More important to you.
[There. He's said it. Back home Lance could say at least they had Voltron. Here... they have at least what? He can't think of anything for him.]